Wednesday, December 17, 2014

What you don’t know…could kill you!

Live, local..late breaking”…”First Warning”..”Accu-Storm”…”This is your last chance”…etc  If someone came up to you and shouted these things in your face, you’d probably either shoot them, (If this was Texas or Florida) or at least douse them with mace,  yet this is what our local news broadcasts shout at us throughout the day.  I would also add, it’s an incredibly long day, with some local newscasts beginning as early as four-thirty in the morning, while usually ending their final newscast of the day a little after  eleven thirty at night.  That’s a lot of news.  The problem is, there really isn’t that much news, and much of what is called news isn’t really news at all.
Will Ferrell (
Perhaps the greatest local though fictional anchorman,…Ron Burgandy, (Times Union)
Despite some of its shortcomings, local news in many ways is one of the few remaining resources that across the political spectrum, race, ethnicity, income, or body hair differential people still watch and agree upon. (I know this based on extensive research, seeking out all three people sitting in my family room while I was writing this.  While the sample size is dubious, the reliability of the panel is beyond reproach).   Let’s face it, the national network news is not trusted due to the fact that many people view it as being too liberal.  Cable news either panders to the Republicans (FOX), the Democrats (MSNBC), or “shut-ins” (CNN).  CNN by the way, has just reported that the Malaysian airliner is still missing, unless it was shot down over the Ukraine.  For the most part, local news is not politicized, therefore it rarely offends.
John Gray Fox 23 anchorman in Albany, New York 9/02/2009. (Michael P. Farrell / Times Union ) ( for CQ ) Photo: MICHAEL P. FARRELL / 00005265A
John Gray seems more than capable of handling all of the News responsibilities, for two channels no less….John Gray Fox 23 anchorman in Albany, New York 9/02/2009. (Michael P. Farrell / Times Union ) ( for CQ )
Living in the New York City area for the better part of my first 29 years, I found myself exposed to a lot of gruesome stories.  Usually the first three stories in a local New York City newscast are murders.  In fact, as late as the early 1990s, New York City was experiencing over 1200 murders per year!  By 1994, the murder rate began to plummet, almost to the day that we moved to the Capital Region.  I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. Yes…just a coincidence.
Local news in the Capital Region has a lot less blood and gore than big city news,  perhaps that is why local newscasts are filled with a lot more..how shall we say…”drivel”.  It really shouldn’t be so hard to fill a local half-hour newscast, since minus commercials, your average 30 minute news broadcast is only about 21 minutes long.  It is also interesting to see how the local news defines what they call  a “top story” vs. what they used to call a “headline” down in New York City.  For example, one of the first days we were living  in the capital region back in 1993, the top story on WTEN was that somebody lit off a “smoke-bomb” in Niskayuna High School.  When I taught in Long Island City, we used to call days where somebody set off a “smoke-bomb”, days ending with “ay”.
The Prestigious home of WNYT, where the Hoffman’s tune in for their news every Saturday night at 11:25pm, right before “Saturday Night Live” comes on.  (Albany Times Union)
Most newscasts seem to put almost all of their energy into the weather.  For example, WTEN broadcasts local news from 5-6:30pm every Monday thru Friday.  In that one hour and a half block, you can count on up to eight weather updates.  Weather is almost a religion in the northeast.  It can so easily ruin or at least alter your plans, that people take it very seriously.  Still, the minutiae that is sewn into every weather report staggers the mind.  All three local networks, but particularly WTEN give the weather for close to a dozen towns in the area, even though some of them are incredibly small, and seemingly right on top of each other.  For example, they will tell you that:
“It’s 56 degrees in Latham, while it’s only 55 in Loudonville.  Cohoes checking in at 56 as well, but Green Island is 58.”
The other day, they gave the weather in Halfmoon, Mechanicville, Malta, and Ballston Spa, but didn’t mention Clifton Park??? My family had to drag me out of my running car where I sat with the garage door closed.  I mean really, what an indignity.  (As it turned out, Clifton Park was one degree warmer than the other afore mentioned towns, and I ended up feeling too warm as I ventured out in my winter coat.  My day was ruined!)
Creative Copyright Hulton-Deutsch Collection/Corbis/AP Images A    HU021659 Weather Forecast
Remember when weather reports looked like this?  I wonder if their accuracy rate was any worse than the professional Meteorologists today with all of their computer models?  (Photo, Associated Press)
My brother likes to point out that when the weather report is bad, (snow, tropical storm, tornado warning, hurricane, nuclear winter etc..) the weather man always takes his jacket off and rolls up his sleeves.   This shows they are working hard to deal with whatever dangerous weather condition is bearing down on us.  My brother’s question is, “What are they doing differently when the weather is bad that causes them to roll up their sleeves?  Aren’t they reading the same reports that they are when it’s sunny and  warm?”
Creative AP T    vertical Super Typhoon Choi-wan over the Mariana Islands.
“Whew, better roll up my sleeves for this one”! (Associated Press)
By the way, why do they make weather reporters stand outside in bad snow storms and hurricanes?  We know what bad weather looks like, what is the guy going to say while he is standing out there?  The same thing they always say:  ”Well Bob, as you can see, it’s snowing pretty hard out here”.
One thing that irks me about weathermen is when they seem to enjoy weather that I hate.  For example, John Guaraldi, the former “Rock ‘n’ Roll” weatherman on WTEN back in the 1990s loved hot, sticky, humid weather.  I, as a man of some girth, despise it.  He would celebrate a nice long “HHH” (Hazy, Hot, and Humid) stretch in the summer, and I would wish it upon him that he, be accosted by numerous corpulent, sweaty individuals in a confined space with little circulation so he could fully get the effect of the weather he was so excited about.  Weathermen also don’t like to tell you it’s going to rain.  ”Well, it’s a 90% chance of precipitation today, but not a total washout”.  Really?  Ok, outdoor wedding is a go!  The anchor-people don’t make it any easier for the weatherman.  They always blame them or lay a heavy guilt trip on the weatherman when they say the weather is going to be bad.  Then the weatherman shrugs and apologizes as if somehow it was his fault.
Honestly, what do you want from Paul Caiano, he’s just pointing at a green screen, how’s he supposed to know it’s going to rain?  (Times Union)
A major adjustment for New York City transplants when it comes to local news is how the sports is covered.  In New York City, they almost never cover High School sports, while in most towns and cities across the United States, the lead story is often High School.  I used to make fun of it, but I have to admit that as a teacher, I love seeing our school featured on the news.
Other than the weather obsession, my only real beef regarding the local television media has to do with how they hurt me on a personal level.  When the new K-12 school building opened  several years ago where I work as a teacher, one of the local news stations filmed our opening day and actually filmed me while I was teaching.  At the time I was about 40 pounds heavier than I am now, but to be honest, I didn’t give it much thought at the time.  Several years later, students and other teachers would come up to me every once and a while and say, “Hey, I saw you on television last night”.  I could never figure out what they were talking about, until they told me to look it up on Fox23news.com.  Sure enough, there was this fat guy (me) rambling on about god knows what.  Apparently, they were using me as their stock footage every time they had to do a story on education.  So,  if Fox23-News is doing a story on low test scores,  show the fat guy,  presenting a story about some teacher who is getting suspended for hitting a student, show the fat guy, breaking a story about how teachers are lazy and overpaid…you guessed it, somebody roll tape on that fat guy.  I believe “almost Vice-President Sarah Palin said it best, “Lame-stream media”!
New Hope High School Graduation Palin
And you know she knows what she’s talking about, she was a sportscaster for a local news station! (Associated Press)
Now, how’s about another check on that weather?

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