'm not sure why, and I'm not particularly proud of this, but there are very few things I enjoy reading about at the end of every year more than seeing which celebrities and famous people died. It's strange because I'm not a obituary reader per se'. There is an old Alan King joke where he used to say how his father used to read the obituaries just to make sure he wasn't in them, which I kind of get. As we get older it's good to check out the obituaries and check out the age at which people are dying. If you see that they are 85 and above, you can let out a sigh of relief. If they are in their 50s or 60s, the feeling of panic begins to creep in.
I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in "enjoying" the end of the year "roll call" of the dead. Every magazine and newspaper (including the "Times Union") puts out an end of the year issue reminding us of who we as a society have "lost". So what is the fascination with this odd little peccadillo? 
(If you didn't see this one coming....it's not your fault) (Associated Press)
The death of celebrities, be they untimely (When is the right time?) or due to the natural progression of aging, marks in many ways the passing of our own time. If you grew up watching "Mork and Mindy" in the 1970s, then Robin Williams' death reminds you of a past you cannot go back to. On the other hand, if Justin Bieber were to contract a particularly nasty strain of Anal Warts and keel over, a person of let's say age 50 might say, "What a shame, he was so young, pass the cheese puffs". (I want it known that I wish no particular unfortunate circumstances onto Justin Bieber, he is after-all the Leif Garrett of this century, and look how well he turned out.)
Before (Getty Images)
After...take heed Bieber...take heed! (Getty Images)
Most of the time as you begin to study the list of those who have passed on for the year, you are usually given to one of four possible reactions:
A - "Oh my god, I can't believe he died, I loved that guy"!
B - "He died? I thought he died a long time ago, who even knew he was alive".
C - "I had a feeling he was going to die, I haven't heard about him in a long time, you always know that when you don't hear about a guy for a while, he's probably on his last legs".
D - "Who"?
Some people try to stay ahead of this trend. A few years ago, something called "Death Pools" began popping up in offices, colleges, and family gatherings. (Like my own) The key was not to focus in on somebody who was really old, for example, Bob Hope was on every "Death Pool" list from 1985 until his "untimely" death in 2003 at the tender age of 99...poor kid. (I have terrible pity for anyone who makes it to 99 and not 100, why lord? why?)
("I gotta tell ya, I'm really pissed I didn't make it to 100") (Getty Images)
In order to win the "Pool", you had to be a little creative. It took a really talented prognosticator to find a troubled middle-aged celebritiy or politician who appeared heading for a crash, but one you would not think was about to expire. My wife throughout the 1980s used to predict that Gorbachev was going to die. I think she had a point, that blotch on his head did not scream "good health"!
(Gorbacheve is truly the quintessential "tragic hero", not only is he given zero credit for the fall of Communism in Russia, but he was born with a topograhic blotch on his head. His parents probably saw it when he was born, and they thought, "No worries, as long as he doesn't go bald, no one will ever know...heh, heh, heh) (Getty Images)
As further proof that it's not just me and my twisted family that focuses on famous deaths from the proceeding year, watch any awards program (If you can stand it?) and they always have a segment dedicated to those "we've lost". The Oscars are probably the show that does it best. When you attempt to watch the Oscars, it's really the only part of the show that's bearable. The show actually starts out okay. The monologue is typically pretty funny, and then they'll give out the best supporting Oscars, but unfortunately, the show quickly morphs into an unwatchable slog of technical awards as well as honoring the best foreign, non-English speaking Documentaries that nobody other than the Director and his dog have seen. (By the way, every year my favorites for "Best Boy" and finest "Key Grip" lose, I call fix!) Finally you get a reprieve and they do their segment on those who have died.
(A four way tie for best "Gaffer", nobody saw it coming) (Assoicated Press)
They always use a famous but not quite "Hollywood Royalty" type to come on stage and introduce the segment while portraying a balanced sense of grief and comfort. They inform us that Hollywood lost a lot of great people this past year, and then they roll the tape while playing some maudlin music attempting to manipulate us into feeling sad over these losses. What I like is the fact that some people get applause and some don't. This concept confuses me. Let's face it, the person they are applauding doesn't get to enjoy it. In fact, for all we know, they hated that person and are applauding the fact that they are now dead. So as yet another of my public service announcements, I am going to try and predict who will get applause as this year's Academy Awards Ceremony:
- Robin Williams...Yes...loved by all
- Philip Seymour Hoffman...Yes, drug overdoeses always bring out the applause. By the way, this one hurts on a personal level. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was my father's (Seymour Hoffman) favorite actor.
- Joan Rivers...Yes...begrudgingly...she annoyed a lot of famous people...Bravo Joan!
- Lauren Becall...Big Yes...she had sex with Humphrey Bogart and Frank Sinatra. In fact, I'll bet she was the last surviving person to have accomplished that feat, sort of like being the last surviving member of the Titanic.
- Casey Kasem...Yes, and now on with the countdown
- Marion Barry..probably no, although the video of him doing "Crack" with a prostitute in a Washington D.C. hotel room is more riveting than almost any movie you'll see this year.
- Shirley Temple Black..Yes, but only based on her work as an Ambassador...I'm ever so sad.
- Pete Seager...Maybe, but nobody can argue with the fact that he was one of the top ten socialist folk singers in the Hudson Valley Region.
- Mickey Rooney...Yes, definately! He was the Macaulay Culkin of the 1940s.
- Eli Wallach..Yes, but again he made it to 99, not 100...so cruel!
By the way, if you look up celebrity deaths in 2014, they are ranked in order. Talk about a final insult. Sorry Eli Wallach, you only ranked 40th out of 65 celebrity deaths this year. How does this get determined? Shouldn't we die in alphabetical order, it works for lining kids up in kindegarten, it should work when we are listing who died amongst the rich and famous. So much of life is a popularity contest, does death need to be one as well?
("100 would have been so sweet, 99 is for Luft-Balloons"!) (Getty Images)
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