I'm convinced America has lost its way. America has been "Wussified". The "wussification" of America is our greatest tragedy. (That I can think of in this instant) Just this week, Sony Pictures announced that it wasn't going to release "The Interview" on Christmas due to hacking. The movie is a comedy about two Americans traveling to North Korea to allegedly interview North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un, but really they are there to assassinate him. North Korean hackers apparently out of revenge, or perhaps spite, hacked into Sony's computers and spilled all sorts of information, and are threatening other 21st century style havoc. In a world where we can have multiple sequels to the horror movie to end all horror movies, "Human Centipede", we can't poke fun at this century's Joseph Stalin with a glandular condition.
"Well now let's see...Wreck the opening of "The Interview", Check. Instagram Dennis Rodman...Check. Bring back the no-sideburn look from the 80s ala Simon LeBon...Check!" (ASSOCIATED PRESS)
Everybody has theories on how our country became so over-sensitive and reactionary. Liberals blame the conservatives for their fear campaigns regarding crime and terrorism. Conservatives blame liberals for political correctness gone bonkers. But I think we are missing the obvious. We lost our way when Professional Wrestling abandoned its stereotypes.
The history of Professional Wrestling in America is literally tied to the history of television. In the early days of television when the networks barely had enough programming to fill up the broadcast day, Professional Wrestling was one of its earliest hits. Early stars like "Gorgeous" George and Verne Gagne thrilled Americans in glorious black and white. One group in particular who were especially drawn to the spectacle of early televised professional wrestling were of all people, European women who had immigrated to the United States. My father's mother, (Bubby Mollie) loved Professional Wrestling, as did my wife's "Nana", Sicily's own Sebastiana SanFilippo. They weren't offended by the specter of stereotypes battling it out for supremacy within the "Squared Circle". Why not you ask? Well, let's remember for a second how tough these women had to be. They came from the Ukraine and Sicily respectively, lived I would imagine in dire poverty, took a huge risk and came to America where they couldn't speak the language, and in Mollie's case, couldn't read or write, yet somehow scratched out an existence in the United States, raised a family and achieved the American dream. Wrestling spoke to these people on a level that said, there are good guys, and there are bad guys, and it appears that the bad guy has a foregin object.
The "Gorgeous one" wetting the appetites of "Nana's" and "Bubby's" everywhere. (Getty Images)
For the longest time in my childhood, there were certain guarantees in life we could count on.
1. Dick Clark would never get old
2. Johnny Carson would be on forever
3. Bruno Samartino would always be the Professional Wrestling Champion
Samartino was the classic wrestling good-guy. Humble, soft-spoken, fought clean, and could take a beating. But it was the "heels" that young wide-eyed, freckle-faced lads like myself came back for week after week. It wasn't enough that the bad guys were cheaters who fought dirty, they were also arrogant. Some of them were pretty boys like "Mr. Perfect", Kurt Henning, or "Bruiser Beefcake". Sometimes they were mystery men, who hailed from "parts unknown"! That always scared me. Where could they in fact be from? Parts unknown? I imagined the wilds of Africa or the Amazon! While I enjoyed these dirty grapplers, my favorite bad guys were the stereotypes, typecast right out of central casting in Hollywood.
Oh Bruno! The years haven't been kind! He was however for a time, a firewall against bad guys and heels everywhere. (Getty Images)
Bruno in his prime...posing with one of his better looking fans. (The Robert Hoffman Collection)
I'm probably showing my age here, but as a child, a lot of the stereotypes filled by the villains played on American patriotism tugging at leftover World War Two grudges. Japanese, Nazis, Communists, the entire "Axis of Evil" in my living room every Saturday morning. One of my favorite Japansese villains was "Mr. Fuji". "Mr. Fuji" would show up for interviews in the same morning coat and bowler that the ambassador from Japan wore as he negotiated with our State Department on December 6th, 1941 as the Japanese were preparing the Pearl Harbor assault.
The Emporer Hirohito sporting the look that Mr. Fuji would make famous in the WWF (Getty Images)
Mr. Fuji would come into the ring, throw salt into the corners in honor of his relgious beliefs,and then during the match woud grab a fistful of salt and rub it in his opponents' eyes. He was a one man General Tojo, kicking gthe "shinto" out of unsuspecting good guys everywhere.
Less racist, but just as stereotypical were the Nazis. It was common when I was a child to tune into Professional Wrestling and see a multitude of Nazis parade into the ring and wreak havoc on assorted heros such as Ivan Putski, the "Polish Hammer" or Gorilla Monsoon. (Monsoon started as a wildman from Mongolia who could only grunt and drool, then he became a good guy from New Jersey who had a Ph.d in Western Literature) The assemblage of Nazis would storm into the ring wearing an SS Helmet, a cape with a swastika on it, and boots sporting the iron cross. Whenever Nazi wrestlers became fired up, they would start "Goose-stepping" around the ring. Heaven help the good guy who crossed paths with a Nazi wrestler once he was in full "goose-stepping" mode.
Now, let's test your Professional Wrestling/World War Two knowledge. Three of these fellows were Professional Wrestlers, one of them was the head of the Nazi Youth.
a - Fritz von Erich
b - Baron von Rashke
c - Baldur von Schirach
d - Baron Mikail Scicluna
Give up, and the answer is Baldur von Schirach. It should be noted that while von Schirach was able to inspire countless millions of Nazi youth, his use of the "claw" (The weapon of all Nazi wrestlers) was questionable at best. In fairness, Baron Mikail Scicluna was from the Isle of Malta, and not a Nazi, although he did wear a cape. I always gigle though whenever I see a sign for Malta, just north of Clifton Park and think, "I wonder if the Baron is around"?
It should be noted that von Schiarch never got the chance to pursue his Professioinal Wrestlng aspirations since most of his prime was spent in prison after being convicted at Nuremberg. (Getty Images)
So, you might be wondering if I ever witnessed Professional Wrestling live , the way it was intended? Well, yes!, twice! My father took me to see Professional Wrestling at the Nassau Coliseum. There was the aforementioned "Mr. Fuji", new World Champion Bob Backland, and Paul "The Butcher" Vahon. "The Butcher" was a huge individual who was so fat, he had to wear one of those wrestling outfits with the top to hold his "man-boobs" in place, sort of like Tarzan. He also sported a long beard, and was known for his karate chop to the neck of his opponents. Out of the corner of my eye I saw "The Butcher" leaving the arena right out one of the exists like a peasant in his civilian clothes. He had a suit and tie on, a long coat, and a fedora. As he walked past in his walk-about garb, he looked like a hasidic Jew. He could have been going to a minion! (Look it up)
Pious man? Or master of the double karate chop? You decide. (Times Union)
My other experience seeing Wrestling live was in Syracuse at the old War Memorial. I was in college at the time, and two of my friends, Tom Barton and Rusty Myers came up to me and said, "We want to go to see Professional Wrestling, and we will get you a ticket and pay for gas if you drive us". They had me at "gas". I did have to break a date with my girlfriend, but she must have gotton over it since we ended up getting married. At the event we witnessed quite a specticle including, "Junk-Yard Dog", Manager Gary Hart wrestling, and "Midget" wrestling. The crowd was almost more entertaining. Imagine the crowd at the average "County Fair" without the hoity-toity attitude!
Speaking of class, some habits, such as attempting to ingest inedibles for wrestling lumineries such as George "The Animal" Steele die hard! By the way, he was the guest speaker at my son Alex's Middle School graduation. (Associated Press)
Above all else though were the Managers. My three favorite managers as a youth were Captain Lou Albano, (who wore face piercings long before the "goth" movement), "The Grand Wizard", (A mysterious man with sunglasses and a turbin with moons and stars, and when he died a few years ago, the obituary said, "A man known only as the Grand Wizard of Wrestling has died"...that's what I want in my obitutary) and "Classy" Freddie Blassie. What I loved most about them was their unapologetic rage and general "irateness". They would think nothing about calling Vince McMahon a moron, insult the fans and create mayehm whereever they went.
Not even "The Greatest' could escape the wrate of Freddie Blassie (Associated Press)
And so as Christmas fast approaches, let us just say to all "Pencil Neck Geeks" everywhere, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
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