45 Years of Futility!

I often tell people that the story of my life can be summed up thusly.  The Jets are my favorite football team, and always have been.  They've been to one Super Bowl, which they won.  However, that win came in January of 1969 when I was 4 1/2 years old.  And sadly, I don't remember it.  I know everything about it, but I simply have no memory of the event.  My team has one piece of fleeting glory, and it predates my memory by two Super Bowls.  In fact, I've never even seen the Jets get to the Super Bowl, all whilst watching the Giants, the Jets Landlord for most of the past 30 years waltz their way into 5 Super Bowls, winning four of them.  I'm not a Giant hater, but whenever the Giants have a great year, you have to sit there and listen to all the smug Giants fans tell you what's wrong with the Jets.  "You see, what you guys need is  a Quarterback and a better defense".  Really Vince Lombardi??? Thanks for the helpful tip.

Now, rooting for a perennial loser is not without its merits.  It's a character builder.  You have to constantly keep your expectations low and always expect the worst.  Rooting for the Jets always constitutes a what if "worst comes to worst" scenario.  And when you root for the Jets, worst always comes to worst.  There are in fact plenty of people out there who root for a loser.  Cub fans have crafted that "lovable loser" tag so that if the Cubs ever win, (They haven't been to the World Series in almost 70 years) everybody will be on their bandwagon.  Red Sox fans for many years had earned that "hard-luck loser" label through decades of gut wrenchingly close calls, only to be foiled by the Yankees or Reds, or some other uber-power.  But this is all small potatoes compared to the entire city of Cleveland, which has embraced the "loser-town" label to the point that LeBron James came  back to Cleveland just so the locals wouldn't storm the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame and raid the KISS exhibit.  Cleveland hasn't won anything since 1964, a great year to be sure, but that's a 50 year drought.  That's a city with a lot of character!  And let's not forget...they have to live in Cleveland!

But rooting for the Jets doesn't come with any of the aforementioned charm.  The Jets are not lovable losers, or lovable anythings.  They are arrogant and thuggy.  Their fans are drunken boars.  They are fueled by a hatred of Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, Dan Marino, Don Shula, the Giants, Joe Namath's knees, John Riggins' mohawk, the "fake spike", OJ (and that's before he became an alleged murderer), playing in the Giants' stadium,  Rich Kotite, (he of the 3-13 and 1-15 records), and on and on.  The Jets had defending Super Bowl winning coach Pete Carroll, but he was fired by Jets owner Leon Hess.  Hess said, "I'm an old man, and I want to win now".  He subsequently hired Kotite!  Yeesh.

People have often asked me why I have wasted the better part of my life rooting for the hapless, hatable Jets.  It really begs a much bigger question, why are we attracted to losers"  "I don't know, ask my wife?"  Boo Yeah.  (I couldn't resist, and besides, you pricks were already thinking it)  There have been many losers throughout history who have garnered a loyal following.  For example:

• The French army, which is on a 74 year losing streak, but don't fret, the Maginot line is almost rebuilt
• The Washington Generals, who if they played anybody but the Harlem Globetrotters, would easily have won a game or two by now.  (The Globetrotters have been able to exploit the Generals suspect interior defense by using a ladder)
• Gus Hall, American Communist Party candidate for the Presidency, who ran and lost four times.  Obama called him a "trail-blazer"
• Larry Doby, the second African-American major league baseball player who came up the year after Jackie Robinson, suffered much of the same indignities that the great Jackie Robinson did, and with the same grace Robinson did, but is almost forgotten in baseball history.  By the way, the team that Larry Doby played for?  The Cleveland Indians!

So, what would I do if the Jets ever win the Super Bowl.  I think I'd cue up "We are the Champions" by Queen, and play it over and over.  Incredibly, I would go to work the next day, probably decked out in Jets paraphernalia, and receive accolades and congratulations from my peers and students as if I threw the winning touchdown pass.  No problem, I'll be happy to take the credit.  But after that I'm not sure.  Will football lose some of it's magic for me?  After all, what is a Jets fan who isn't bitter?  Wait, wait, I know...a Giants fan!