As I’ve stated many times, I love living in the Capital Region. I was born in New York City, and raised on Long Island, and I of course miss my family, but I have never once thought about moving back. With that said, there are things that I miss. It has also been well-established that most of the things I miss about downstate living, revolve around food. There are the standard foods that one always associates with downstate dining: Bagels, Pizza, Chinese Food, and Kosher Deli. Many of these foods are available in this area, and some of them are very good. There are many good pizza places, as well as a few good Chinese restaurants. (Not the Chinese buffets, those are gluttonous in a bad way, and the food may not be receiving proper protection from the sneeze-guard) Price Chopper bagels are good, but other than that, most of the bagels in the area are sub par. (Bread with a hole in it is not a bagel. By the way, Downstate New Yorker’s will tell you that the difference is in the water) As for Jewish or Kosher Deli, I”ve yet to find anything that touches “Katz” on the Lower East Side or “Ben’s” in Rego Park.
Katz’ Baby! Come for the Pastrami…stay for the Angioplasty! (Associated Press)
I don’t mean to whine about all of this, we don’t live so far from New York City/Long Island that we can’t all treat ourselves to some high caloric silliness. I would also point out that we have a ton of good restaurants up here, particularly our Italian restaurants. I will say, that unfortunately, my favorite one, “Villa Valente” burned down which saddened me.
Oh my sweet lord…Villa Valenti…I weep for thee! (Times Union)
One type of restaurant that I feel we should have more of, are top-notch steakhouses. Most major cities have some of the high-end chains such as Ruth Chris, Morton’s, or Smith & Wollensky’s. Here in the Capital Region we do have Angelo’s 677 Prime which isn’t bad. I am a fan of most of the “Angelo fleet” of restaurants, and in fairness I’ve only eaten one meal at 677 Prime. I will tell you though, it was a bit of a disappointment considering the price. But I will eventually give it another try. At any rate, neither 677 Prime, nor any of the above mentioned chains can hold a candle to the world-famous Peter Luger’s. Peter Luger’s can be found in two locations, the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn and Great Neck. The Peter Luger’s in Great Neck is located just a stone’s throw from Leonard’s of Great Neck, where some of the sexiest couples of the 1980s got “hitched”.
If it was good enough for “Johnny Sac’s” daughter on the “Sopranos”, it was certainly good enough for the Hoffman’s! (Times Union)
Leonard’s of Great Neck, I should add, is such a huge ‘Wedding Factory” that there was another Hoffman wedding right next to ours, and somehow the paperwork got mixed up, and my bride-to-be “accidentally” signed the wrong wedding license. Basically, what this means is that my wife has been married twice! But at least she got it right the second time.
Peter Luger’s is an eating orgy, and in a good way. (No awkward moments afterwards like after a real orgy…so I’ve heard) You don’t have to trust me either on this, they’ve been chronicled on the Travel Channel’s “Steak Paradise”. ”Luger’s” is a man’s steakhouse…for men. It is a meal without compromise. There are no allusions to cholesterol, high blood pressure, arterial blockage, type 2 diabetes, or “late-night Meat Sweats”. (Meat-Sweats are the 3rd leading cause of perspiration) The waiters are all men, and they push meat, side-dishes and dessert with a vim and vigor that would be the envy of any big-city crack dealer. If you point anywhere on the menu within the vicinity of the steamed brocoli, they publicly ridicule you. (Honestly, I’ve never seen anyone order the brocoli, so I’m not 100% convinced it actually exists, much the way “Diner” menus have about 1000 items, but only really carry eggs and burgers.)
Established in 1887, President Grover Cleveland may have walked through these very famed doors….or not, I haven’t quite made it through his memoirs. (Peter Lugar’s)
The menu is not all that extensive. It’s basically steak, with a side order of steak. There aren’t even that many types of cuts available, it’s basically “Porterhouse” and “rib-steak”. The appetizers and bread basket are delights all onto themselves. The popular appetizers are the hugely sliced tomatoes and onions, served with Peter Luger’s sauce. The other must-have is the THICK sliced bacon. You will never look at bacon the same way again. (The bread basket contains salt-sticks, onion rolls, and other crispy on the outside, doughy on the inside creations.) My friend Chris who was with us this past Saturday is a “Luger-ologist”. In what might be the greatest innovation since the lightbulb, he invented a course in between the appetizer and dinner. He ordered a “round” of lamb-chops. (Somewhere, Shari Lewis was weeping) I’ve never had a lamb-chop as an “intermezzo” before, but my idea of what it means to have one’s palate’ cleansed has forever been altered. By the way, the first time I ever had or heard of an “intermezzo” was in Orlando with my wife on a trip to Disneyworld. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why they were serving me sherbert before my main course?
(“You Baaaaaaaastards”!) (Getty Images)
The enormous Porterhouse steaks are served family style. What makes them so awesome? They have been “dry-aged”. (Much the way Andrew Jackson’s face was, or as he was better known “old hickory”) I’m not sure how long they dry age them for, but I think it’s about 20 years…or one month maybe, who knows? All I know is, they are without parallel! You know the difference between a really good steakhouse and a steakhouse trying to get by on shtick? At “Outback”, they give you a giant knife as if you are going to stalk your prey before you eat it. (Also so you can say when your get your knife at an Australian themed restaurant, “Now that’s a knife”!) Luger’s gives you a regular size steak knife because they know their meat cuts like…..”butter”!
As they used to say at the Jet games when they played the National Anthem: Take you hats off and show a little respect, this isn’t Communist Russia!” (Peter Luger’s)
The side dishes almost outshine the main course. The standards are the creamed spinach, the German fried potatoes, and the fried onion rings. As you’re chowing down on this testosterone fueled extravagance, you can feel yourself being transported back to a simpler time. Before you know it, you’ll extolling the virtues of the Titanic, and how it will become the standard for all cruise ships in the future based on its inability to be sunk. (Editor’s note, for three and three-quarter days, the Titanic was true to its reputation and stayed remarkably well afloat. After that…not so much.)
“I do say old boy, this is a meal fit for President Taft! A fine fellow and a vision of health. He must be, look at his corpulence.” (Getty Images)
Finally there is desert, and the “Piece of resistance” is a beautiful creation known affectionately as “Schlag”. ”Schlag” is whipped cream, and it comes in a huge bowl. You can put it on any of their fine desserts, or just stick your face in it and think happy thoughts. But it caps the meal in a way oh so profound.
I will warn you, Luger’s isn’t cheap by any stretch. But you will never walk out feeling less than satisfied. But to make sure you get the most out of your experience, here’s some helpful tips:
- Wear your fattest pants. If you’re a size “36″, invest in a “44″. You won’t be sorry.
- Don’t eat steak for three days before or after Luger’s. You’ll only upset yourself
- Eat the “Schalg”, no matter how full you are. Bowls of homemade whipped cream aren’t falling off trees.
- Don’t argue with the waiter. He’s going to bring you whatever he feels like anyway, so why waste the energy talking when you could be chewing?
Finally, when you get your coffee with dessert, (To mush the meal down as my wife likes to say) remember to ask for “Sweet ‘n’ Low”, instead of sugar. You don’t want people to think you’re some sort of “Chaza”, (Yiddish for pig) do you?
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