Lyrics: Good, bad, and garbled.

There's a relatively new song that came out recently where the young lady who is singing repeatedly states that she is in fact, "All about the bass..'bout the bass."  I'm not sure what she means exactly, but if I were to perform a "Weird" Al Yankovic on her chart topper, or even go all "Allan Sherman" on it, I would indicate that I am much more inclined to be "about the lyrics...'bout the lyrics."  It's not that I don't enjoy a good beat.  I can embrace the "funk" as well as the next tone-deaf middle-aged white male.  It's just that to me, the lyrics resonate much more deeply.  Why is this you ask?  Probably because I can't dance...at all...not even a little....zero.  My brain wants to make my body do certain things, much as it wants me to perform certain feats on the basketball court, or on a pair of ice skates.  Unfortunately, in all of these scenarios, somewhere between my brain, and my muscular system, something gets lost in translation.  When it comes to being "Lord of the Dance", I am not exactly Napoleon Dynamite or even "Kid Dynamite".

(I'll admit it.  I'm jealous of this guy!)  (You Tube)

While I can't sing either, (my singing is worse than my dancing) I do enjoy listening to the lyrics and thinking about what they mean.  When I was teenager, I always enjoyed listening to  my "Beatles'" albums as well as those of Billy Joel's because they always printed the lyrics on the album cover.  (Could you imagine a teenager doing that now?  Lying on their bed, no other stimulation, just reading the lyrics along to the album?)  How did I get so interested in what the singer was saying?  Well, when I was about 12, I stayed at my brother's apartment who was quite a bit older than me.  He was a huge Bob Dylan fan,  and while we were eating breakfast or dinner or something, he put on Bob Dylan's greatest hits.  I was making fun of Dylan's nasal twang, and while my brother agreed that Robert Zimmerman would starve to death if he had to depend on his talent as a singer, one thing that boy from Minnesota could do was write some killer lyrics.  My brother said, "forget the singing, just listen to the words".  The song was "The Times, they are a-Changin."

There are too many great Dylan lyrics to choose from, but consider this one, "Sometimes even the President of the United States just has to stand naked." (TImes Union)

What was so brilliant about "The Times they are a-changin"?  It was written in 1964, which besides being the greatest year ever, was at the cusp of the entire '60s movement.  The protests and uprisings of the "baby-boomers", as they proceeded to reject all that was holy to the "Greatest Generation", better known as their parents, had but barely begun.  Vietnam had not escalated yet, nor had the 1967 "Summer of Love" begun, but Dylan understood.  He realized that something was changing in America.   Check out this little doozy:

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

Dylan of course isn't the only great lyricist of the last 50 years.  Any assemblage of the greatest lyricists of the rock/pop era would have to include: John Lennon, Pete Townsend, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Sting, Carole King, Robbie Robertson, Roger Waters, Neil Young, David Byrne, and let's face it, too many to list here.  My age and personal prejudices also have led me to the conclusion that over the past 15 years, very few performers, if any, can come within a million miles of any of the above listed artists, as well as many others that I have neglected to list.  Bernie Taupin or even John Mellencamp or Bob Seger.

Before we get too carried away with how great our music was, let's not forget that not all bad songs and music was made in the last 15 years. (You Tube)

It should be noted however, that not every great lyric was penned by one of the aforementioned immortals.  As for the really bad lyrics that are out there, it would be too easy to pick on some Brittany Spears or Jessica Simpson or Taylor Swift or whatever "trollip of the month" is popular with today's youth.  I'm much more interested in artists who have actually stood the test of time and written multiple hits, but have dropped a few clunkers down over the years.

So, in the interest of fair play, I thought I would compile a list of some of the best lyrics since 1964, and some of the worst.  I'm not looking at great songs so much as I'm compiling great "lines".  Feel free to disagree, it's a free country, and your right to be wrong is guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.  Now, in no particular order..

Great Lyrics 

1. Bruce Springsteen (Thunder Road) - "Show a little faith, there's magic in the night, you ain't a beauty but hey you're alright."  (It's no "I like Big Butts", but it conveys a message)
2. The Beatles (Hard Day's Night) - "It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog." (It was a Ringo line according to John Lennon.  Ringo was like the Yogi Berra of rock 'n' roll.  Also, my favorite Lennon line, "Everybody's got something to hide, 'cept for me and my monkey!".)
3. The Who (Baba O'Reilly) - "Don't cry, don't raise your eye, it's only teenage wasteland." (Has there ever been a teenager with a beer in his hand who didn't scream along with this one) (Also, honorable mention to "Hope I die before I get old", if you saw Chevy Chase on the "Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special" you'll know what I mean)
4. Billy Joel (Say Good-bye to Hollywood) - "So many faces in and out of my life some will last, some will just be now and then. Life is a series of hellos and good byes, I'm afraid it's time for good-bye again."  (That one resonates more and more as we get older.)
5. The Band/Robbie Robertson (Up on Cripple Creek) - "Now there's one thing in the whole wide world, I sure would like to see, that's when that little love of mine, puts her donut in my tea."  (I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds sexy.)

Bad Lyrics

1. Steve Miller Band (Jungle Love) - "I met you on somebody's island, you thought you had known me before.  I brought you a crate of papaya, they waited all night by your door." (This one was pointed out to me by my old ZXZ fraternity brother,   Mark L. However, if papaya leads to "Jungle Love", who am I to argue?
2. Steve Miller Band (Again) (Take the Money and Run) - "Billy Mac is a detective down in Texas.  You know he knows just exactly what the facts is."  (Um, Texas isn't an easy word to rhyme with, but c'mon Steve.  Talk about taking the money and running?!)

I don't blame you Steve, I would hide my face too after some of these lyrics. (You Tube)

3. Duran Duran (The Reflex) - "You've gone too far this time, but I'm dancing on the valentine". (Ok, I'll bite, what the hell does that mean?  Actually, you should "Google" the lyrics to the entire song, it's completely inane.)

4. Bon Jovi (Never Say Goodbye) - "Remember when we lost the keys, and you lost more than that in my backseat". (Well, Bon Jovi can laugh all the way to the bank, and he's a master at writing "hooks", those choruses that get stuck in your head, but don't listen too closely to the lyrics..they're pretty silly)

5. Loverboy (Lovin' Every Minute of it) - "I'm not man or machine, I"m just something in between.  Whoa, oh, whoa, whoa. I'm all love, a dynamo, so push the button and let me go". (Ok, full disclosure, I always hated them, especially the guy with the headband.  Also, I took sex-ed, and pushing a button doesn't do anything.)

Sorry dude, I just don't like you. (You Tube)

I also want to at least give mention to those singers who may or may not be singing brilliant lyrics, since they are functionally inaudible.  In particular:

Michael Stipe/REM - "What's the frequency Kenneth @#$*^&^^*&^^@#$45"????

Elton John - "Rocket maaaan, burning like a !@@##$$%^^%$#@@"???

Michael Stipe/REM - "!@@##$$%^&*&^%$##...Radio Free Europe ##$$%^"???

So feel free and chime in.  What lyrics move you?  What lyrics nauseate you?  Have fun, and remember, "Everything under the sun is in tune...but the sun is eclipsed by the moon."